Thursday, May 30, 2013

On Cuddlers and Tamers and why I LOVE this woman!

This woman - Pinky McKay - is not only a wise woman I greatly respect but also someone I proudly call my friend.

Having successfully raised our children doing all the wrong things, we are now disgracefully helping raise our grandchildren just the same way!

Pinky is a well-known and highly respected writer, speaker and practioner who supports mothers who seek to use gentle parenting non-techniques. She is known for her approach and is recognised for being at the other end of the spectrum from those who promote strict, scheduled parenting practices.

But even the most gentle soul can reach boiling point and Pinky reached hers - resulting in this blog post:

Well - not everyone was happy to see that and the comments are running fast and furious. Yet, everyday, my blog feed seems to feature yet another rant against the various practices gathered together under the term Attachment Parenting - full-term breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing and more. I tend not to get involved in "comment wars" because I get tired of being asked to justify or validate my own values or beliefs on the matter and even when you provide evidence to support your view, you are attacked for criticising the actions of women who had aimed for the same goals but not achieved them. (This always confuses me - if you value something, how do your values change just because you weren't able to do it yourself: I still support natural childbirth, even though my own three children were born by caesareans!)

Many of the comments posted in response to Pinky's post are from people who prefer a more disciplined approach  - to me, their comments simply confirm the whole point of Pinky's post: is this really the place for you? If you want information or guidance on controlled crying, for example, why seek it from someone who openly does not support those techniques?

Pinky explained more about her motivation to write that post in a second one here.

While I am heartedly sick of "mummy wars", mostly created and fed by commercial media hype, I respect each parent's right to make their own, informed decisions. I might not support your choices and I am rather concerned about the child's rights in all this, but you don't need my consent or approval. Or Pinky's.

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