Friday, December 21, 2012

Its PINK!!!!

Kaitlyn and Ashley have announced they are expecting a baby GIRL!!!


This little lady didn't make it easy - she kept her legs crossed at the 20 week scan and kept her secret. So the planned 3D scan was brought forward a few weeks and at 23.5 weeks, she shared the secret.

Girl or boy, everyone is just delighted in the anticipation of this new family member, however the creator and shopper in me is thrilled to be able to indulge in the wider range of things for girls - as well as the little pants I have been sewing, there will be little dresses! Knitted hats can be adorned with crocheted flowers and the full spectrum of colours can be explored.



Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Artificial Feeding – Nothing To Do With Breastfeeding



There is no choice involved with breastfeeding.
Like natural conception, pregnancy, childbirth and all the other processes of the human body, breastfeeding is the default when it comes to feeding all infant mammals, including humans.
However, none of these natural processes are guaranteed fail-safe and society has brought alternatives when something goes wrong with nature’s plan.
IVF and other fertility programs, surrogate pregnancy and intensive care for premature infants, caesarean sections… and artificial feeding… each intended to step in when nature stumbles.
Why then, is there such a divide between women who breastfeed and those who resort to artificial baby milk? Why can the apparent decision to do one be taken as criticism of those who do the other? Such conflict can also arise between natural versus medical childbirth proponents but imagine such a personal debate between those who conceive easily and those reliant on IVF? Imagine the full term mothers in the postnatal ward questioning the actions of those with premmies in NICU! Imagine infertile women complaining about the promotion of contraception and family planning!

So what led to this great divide?

The Transition from Breast to Bottle
The answer can be found if we turn back a few pages in our history books. Originally, artificial feeding was only intended as the last option for babies unable to access human milk. Those abandoned by their mother at birth, foundlings without access to wet nurses, orphans without a lactating relative to take them in. It was insidious marketing by those with a commercial interest which saw artificial feeding leap from last resort to first option and it has taken the best part of the past century to undo the damage of their actions. And the repair is far from complete.
Safer Motherhood and the Hygiene of Life - 1934
(author's personal collection)
It would be bad enough if infant formula had been marketed as just an alternative to human milk, but far worse damage was done. Powerful advertising directed at family and medical communities led many to believe manufactured infant feeds were superior to mothers own milk. Generation after generation of new mothers had all choice taken away from them as brainwashed health advisors passed on the misleading information fed to them by those whose real interest was in the making of money. Lots of money.
The most heartbreaking outcome is not the loss of breastfeeding confidence across the community, rather the failure of society to understand the risks of not feeding babies as nature intended. There are very real detrimental impacts on immediate and future health when we remove human milk from the human diet and replace it with artificially concocted substitutes. Just as there are risks with fertility treatments, premature or surgical birth, so to there are risks when artificial baby milk replaces breastmilk - whether at birth or at any time during the period nature intended humans to be fully or partly breastfed.
Right Royal Example
Any suggestion of these risks is shouted down by many in our society as unfair to mothers who have resorted to artificial feeding. For many years, these risks were cloaked in softer language and presented as benefits of breastmilk. This technique is akin to suggesting there are advantages to breathing air unpolluted by cigarette smoke! Benefits in not being exposed to toxic levels of radiation! Or perhaps reasons to consider not walking in front of a moving vehicle!! There are no benefits to breastfeeding – breast isn’t best, it is normal!
The decision to introduce artificial baby milk – either partly or fully replacing human milk in a child’s diet – should always follow full risk assessment. Artificial feeding is not about the choice to breastfeed or not to breastfeed. The decision has nothing to do with breastfeeding. When we add or replace a natural process with something else, it must be done with full awareness of the risks against benefit. Like organ replacement or renal dialysis, artificial feeding should only be considered when all else fails.

Emotional conflict

Any health awareness program is designed to alter people’s behaviour, change habits and encourage them to question their lifestyle. Give up smoking. Eat more vegetables, Do more exercise, Drink less alcohol. Avoid sun exposure. Reduce fat in the diet. Have a pap smear. Eat more fibre. Nag, nag, nag! Pick up a magazine, watch TV, visit the doctor or pass by a billboard. The message is simple: there are ways you can improve your health both now and in the future. By ignoring them you are denying your own power to act.
1930s  AMA poster
Put up a poster promoting breastfeeding though, and suddenly people complain it is only being done to make those who are artificially feeding feel guilty! Why is this? How can just another health message seem personalized and threatening? The answer might surprise you – there is certainly emotion involved but it is nothing to do with guilt. 
Guilt is how you feel having committed an offense; remorse caused by feeling responsible for some offence. It is an internally created feeling and can only occur if the culprit recognizes they have done the wrong thing. Surely this description would only apply to the smallest number of mothers who have not breastfed? 
The real emotion felt by the majority of women who resort to premature weaning is regret: feeling sad about the loss or absence of something treasured or valued. Put simply, when these women see promotion of breastfeeding, it reminds them of a time when they experienced sadness. This can lead to feelings of anger, as unresolved emotions come to the surface. What they need is support and understanding of their grief, recognition of their regret. 
Unfortunately, what they usually get instead is reassurance about the decision to wean and assurance of their baby’s health and well being despite being fed artificially. This failure to acknowledge their true feelings goes a long way to prolonging their emotional recovery. Raise the issue of breastfeeding in a group women at any life stage – those emotions will come flooding out just as fresh in the retirement village as in the new mother’s group.
If reminders of the value of breastmilk make you feel angry, then direct that anger not to those trying to increase the awareness of a whole population, rather to those who let you down. Mothers do not fail to breastfeed: our society fails to help them do so: the real blame lies with:
  • Health systems that pay lip service to the benefits of breastmilk, yet expel new mothers from hospital before they have even grasped the basics of this learned skill;
  • Communities who view breastfeeding as an intimate act to only be performed behind closed doors, promoting only the sensual role of breasts and denying their practical use;
  • A society who expects women to resume paid work after brief, unpaid maternity leave while denying them access to workplace childcare and other support for combining work and breastfeeding;
  • A medical system that has until this year charted the growth of breastfed infants against the unnatural growth patterns of those fed artificially in past generations and implied failure to mothers whose babies did not measure up;
  • Unnecessary birth practices that interfere with the natural progression from womb to breast and strict infant regimes that deny babies access to the breast often enough for adequate nutrition;
  • A society which destroys body image by portraying the pubescent female form as that of a fully mature woman and displays malnourished celebrities as role models for adolescents and women of child-bearing age.
It is time to break down barriers between mothers and join together. There is no us and them, no good versus bad mother. Every woman has the right to the support and information she needs to birth and breastfeed her baby as nature intended, without pressure from the marketing techniques of multinational drug and breastmilk substitute manufacturers influencing the professionals guiding them along the path of motherhood.
Originally published as a submission to the  2007 Parliamentary Inquiry into the Health Benefits of Breastfeeding.
http://aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Committees/House_of_Representatives_Committees?url=haa/./breastfeeding/bfgovresp.pdf

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Yes, Virginia. ...

Suzy Toronto
I preface this by saying I respect every family's right to do or not to do.

This is about my reflections on our family experience as one which "does" the Santa thing.

Yes, I did use the present tense and, yes, my children are all in their 20s! Notwithstanding adulthood, independent living and -in one case - marriage and impending parenthood, my brood will head off to David Jones in Melbourne in a couple of weeks for their annual photo with Santa! A mythical being who was, in their childhood, considered to be an actual person who visited their home in the dead of night bearing gifts and consuming refreshment.

Given my recurring exposure to families of young children, each year at this time I come upon discussion on the merit or wisdom of creating the legend and even the ethics of "lying" to children each year. Aside from those whose religious beliefs don't sit comfortably alongside the secular celebrations, what is really in dispute is the place of fantasy in children's lives and whether adults have the right to misinform children deliberately.

In our house, fantasy, make-believe and let's pretend have been central to childhood play. The dress-ups box was always in action, toys for role-play in good supply and everyone encouraged to enjoy stories of other worlds, mythical beings and escapes from reality.

Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny have all been part of the folklore of childhood and the mystery of their presence discussed as though they were as real as our family and friends. How did Santa get in after we moved from the house with a chimney (where he left sooty footprints to and from the Christmas Tree)? How did the tooth fairy always (well, nearly!) know to visit even when a tooth came out at bedtime? How did the Easter Bunny sneak into the house with chocolate treasures when the weather outside did not suit early morning egg hunts? (And when a French exchange student shared our Easter one year, our youngest accepted that in France, the Bells bring the eggs - because - obviously - the Bunny was busy in Australia!)

At what age did it dawn on them that magic isn't always what it seems? I truly don't know. Melissa at five or six announced someone at school told her a crazy story about parents really leaving gifts, but she said she knew this wasn't true, as she knew we couldn't afford to buy her a bike! But as the older became wiser, they did not share their wisdom - in fact, they joined forces with the adults to create the magic!

One year, when the older two were in on things and the youngest was keeping his own counsel, Santa was bringing an entire set of Lord of the Rings figurines - the first movie just released and greatly enjoyed by this fantasy-loving family. A friend in the toy industry was helping with staff discount and access to rarer figures. But - at the last, Aragorn AKA Strider was stuck in a container on a ship at the wharf and could not meet the deadline  So Santa and his Elves hid the figurines around the house to be discovered, but also a note from Gandalf, on a scroll tucked in with a silver Elven cloak (secretly sewn in the en-suite bathroom!) alerting the receiver to Aragorn being delayed. Deceit  Lying? Untruths? Or just plain, good fun? All I know is, more than ten years later, it is remembered with fondness by all - and much more happiness than the time a cricket set from Santa included an unintended Huntsman Spider in the wrappings!

I think the proof is in the (Plum) Pudding: All our adult children enjoy and treasure the Christmas traditions of their childhood and keep as many going as possible. They enjoy the history of Father Christmas in their own ways - Melissa loves the folk-tales and Kieran loves the irony of Coca Cola's role. And pregnant Kaitlyn knows Santa will be part of her child's Christmas and his/her grandparents, aunt and uncle will do all they can to create the mystery.

 "Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."
Norman Vincent Peale






Saturday, November 17, 2012

OWIE!

It was one of those things you expect not to deal with in your fiftieth year, yet strangely, still do!

When visiting Melissa's house on Sunday, I had to park behind her car, rather than in the visitor's car park for her units (which was full) and, Murphy's Law being as it is, of course I was parked just that little too far over when her neighbour wanted to back out of his garage.

As we realised the situation and the elderly man was walking over to her door, I sprang to my feet and raced to the door to say I would quickly move my car (not wanting to get my daughter in trouble with the body corporate). And then, several key things all happened at once.

As I got to the door, my dog Molly (bored with visiting) assumed I had made a sudden decision to go home without her and decided not to let me. As I opened the screen door, she bolted toward my car. Unleashed, she is an unknown quantity, so I pushed the unlock button on my keys and bolted after her to open the car door, so she could jump in and not make other arrangements - like run off!

It was as I ran barefoot over the two metres or so to my car, I realised a) I hadn't put my shoes on and b) Melissa's front lawn is a mass of Bindiis!!

Now, growing up in Australia, kids have cast-iron feet,only two things bring us down in summer - the walk across the hot sand from towel to water at the beach and bindiis in the lawn. These claw-like seeds of weedy lawn invader dry as summer approaches to become treacherous to bare feet.

And I had just run across them with two bare feet!

I had to move the car, so teeth clenched, I did as quickly as i could, then - keeping the dog from leaping out of the open car door, I screamed to the girls to help me. They were only a little behind me, rushing out with my thongs (you may know these as flip-flops) but were stopped in their tracks by two out-stretched maternal feet studded with evil cling-ons! Kaitlyn held back her laughter when she realised just how bad it was and plucked them all out for me. They drew blood! I hastily put my thongs on before returning inside, with my inner-child having a bit of a tantrum at being caught this way for the first time in decades!

Oh, there is one more Aussie reason our parents used to scream "Well, put your bloody shoes on!" - Bull Ants! I still run the gauntlet with these, even though our front yard is the perfect living environment for them. Last time I lost the battle on a bare-foot dash to the letter box, I came back inside with one of the blasted things attached to my little toe and doing its best to inflict maximum pain.

You might hear all about our sharks and the venomous snakes and spiders, but the real dangers in Australia in summer are these - bindiis,  bull ants and hot sand! That's why we must wear our things, you see!!

This is what the bottom of my feet looked like!
A Bull Ant


Friday, November 16, 2012

And sew on ...

A impending baby is a wonderful opportunity for many ... crafts!

I have been enjoying the chance to reignite my sewing passion, dormant since my skills ceased to be required  to produce costumes for the children in their school days. Fashions over the years didn't really incorporate hand-made styles, life got busy and my ancient, but reliable, machine stopped being so reliable. (Hard to deny it retirement, being a wonderful Husqvana purchased by my mother in the mid 70s!) But then I received another hand-me-down machine - my third: firstly I had my mother-in-law's cast-off, then my mother's and now - my daughter's!

But I really needed motivating to get back into things. Most of my sewing tools had gone to a new life with my daughter, a seamstress of some repute, who creates costumes for cos-play and more, mostly self-taught, the latest in a long line of women who sew in both families. When I did turn to sew, I didn't even own a bobbin!

The announcement that my other daughter is expecting our first grandchild, combined with the stiumlus of Pinterest, my passion to avoid disposable products, the allure of new fabrics such as bamboo and my wish to help off-set the cost of preparing for a baby all led me to pick up the "good scissors", get hold of everything from pins to a tape measure and buy fabric!

Here is what has so far been created:

Reusable breastfeeding pads - organic flannel, bamboo/cotton toweling and bamboo velour
Burp cloths - organic cotton backed with bamboo/cotton towelling

Taggy toy

Big Butt Baby Pants - Very Hungry Caterpillar (rear view, awaiting elastic!)
Having discovered the wonderful fabrics available with the resurgence of sewing (as with knitting and crochet, 20- and 30-somethings have caught the bug and want funky and interesting materials) there are more projects on the to do list!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

And here's a picture boys and girls

Endless hours of my life have been spent reading - and re-reading - picture books to my children. Especially when I sat breastfeeding, the older ones would haul a pile from the shelf over beside me and demand stories.

But children grow up and shelf space becomes tight. A few years back, I consigned what remained of our picture book collection into storage. Last summer, during a family clean out at our storage unit, I asked the now-adult children to cull them a bit and I think they may have donated a few but the rest went back into storage.

With the impending grandchild nearly halfway through gestation, I am starting to look forward to a new generation of story telling, so on the weekend, I got all the books out again and gathered my daughters to go through them - my son is not so sentimental, but does have hoarding tendencies, so I admitted defeat with him! But I thought the girls might like to take out their favourites and keep them in their own homes, with the remainder returning to the family shelves to share with the new generation. And maybe we could cull it down to just the most important?

Well, it turns out, while each had a couple of personal favourites they wanted to keep close by, they agreed that most were shared favourites that could go back home with me! And not only that, but those titles deemed too damaged to rescue, we Googled and ordered replacement copies!

25 and 28!
So I guess I am not the only one with those fond memories and we have proven that shared stories are one of life's treasures.

Here is the donate pile:

And this is the keep pile!:


Meanwhile, I have been busy Pinning those titles I have already flagged as being necessary in the life of the grandchild-to-be (nicknamed Jelly Bean by his/her parents) and the list includes many of those above! You can see it at Jelly Bean's Bookshelf and my browsing led me to this wonderful list, which includes not only most of my children's favourites but also many from my own childhood! It has become part catalogue, part shopping list in my quest!!

I think I had better order one of these in every size!  :)





Looking Back - way back!

Part of my library of books includes a small collection of vintage pregnancy and parenting manuals, dating back over last century.

My greatest treasure is a two-volume set passed onto me from my husband's paternal grandmother, Mary.


SAFER MOTHERHOOD and the HYGIENE of LIFE a 1934 edition of special health problems of women...sex and love in woman's life..the expectant mother..medicines in common use..photographs in monochome

I dusted this off the other day, seeing that Mary's great-granddaughter, my daughter Kaitlyn, is now pregnant. I thought it would be interesting to see the contrast between what these two women would be told about preparing for motherhood.

Here are a few favourites I captured to share.

I imagine the depression-era definition of "light housework"would be quite different from today's

I am quite alarmed that I could have written this section almost word for word and could almost publish as-is today!

This advice about scrubbing nipples with brushes still pops up today , nearly a 100 years later, passed inappropriately from mothers to daughters still.

Just like our Breastfeeding Education Classes, only NOT!

The pride is evident but the reality is these babies would be shuffled out to their mothers for four-hourly feeds and then whisked back to the nursery to be topped up by bottle by the nurses, who enjoyed the bond they developed with the babies during the two weeks or so their mothers were confined to bed on the ward. And continued you so until rooming-in was conceived - still optional when I had my first baby in 1984!