Babywearing Do All The Things

Writing for BellyBelly.com.au!

I have been so busy lately,  I haven't shared my exciting news!

I am the new Early Parenting Editor for BellyBelly.com.au!

Watch out for my posts about all things baby and toddler related, from a natural,  gentle parenting perspective. 

Babywearing is ...

Our babywearing community South Eastern Babywearing Group entered the competition to win $800 worth of baby carriers to add to our demonstration kit. We created a poster and a video, entirely put together with the talents of group members. We held a photo shoot in the Dandenong Ranges, on which it HAILED just as we gathered together! LOL!

Now, we need you to help us. Our poster is titled Babywearing: Where will it take you today? And our video is Babywearing is ... You will find them in this post. Please like, comment and share, not only to help us win but to celebrate babywearing and acknowledge the hard work of the members who put it together. Our group is about to reach 600 members - what a lovely gift to share

Our video mile emoticon

Family Photo Shoot

Once again, Susan D'Arcy has captured our family with her camera. To view the album, click the link below

2015 Family Photo Shoot

Charlie's Zumba class

Opera singing

Do you need to keep comping?

Most women giving birth in Australia initiate breastfeeding - around 98%

These mothers each have their own breastfeeding goals, which vary from giving it a try - maybe, to aiming to exclusively breastfeed for six months and continuing to breastfeed for two years or more (The World Health Organisation recommendation.)

The majority will fall somewhere in between - intending to breastfeed for a period of weeks or months, with or without the addition of expressed breastmilk (EBM) or formula. When breastfeeding is combined with formula feeds, we describe it as mixed feeding.

Some mothers intend to mixed feed from the outset but here I am addressing the most common scenario where formula top-ups - complementary feeds or "comps" are introduced early-on due to concerns about the baby's intake from the breast or the mother's supply.

I have been told as many as 70% of babies born in Victoria are given formula in the first week - leaving very few "eligible" to meet our dietary guidelines of no foods other than breastmilk until around six months. The reasons this might be so are generally centred around babies weight loss in the first week: weight loss is normal and expected but 10% of birth weight is the accepted amount and more than this could indicate a baby is not taking enough milk at the breast. The most likely causes are inefficient or insufficient milk removal - either the baby is not feeding well enough or the baby is not feeding often enough - or both.

Ideally, the introduction of formula top-ups in this situation should be considered short-term, while the causes are addressed. Improving technique, increasing feed frequency, assessing the infant for issues like jaundice or tongue tie, improving pumping efficiency ... most problems can be resolved within days and mothers should be given a plan to bring them back to fully breastfeeding by weaning off comping.

What seems to happen, in many cases, is that last bit gets forgotten. Weeks or months after the birth, babies are still being routinely comped and when asked why, their mother explains concerns about weight gains in the past. Often she describes herself as not making enough milk or her baby being extra hungry, big, frustrated or demanding. If she is happy to continue comping, then she can continue mixed feeding as long as she wishes - provided her supply isn't compromised or her baby shows a bottle preference.

But if the mother's original goal was to fully breastfeed her baby, then there are many things she can do to achieve that.

• Finish at the Breast technique: Christina Smillie's excellent article Finish at the Breast Method of Supplementation describes a really obvious approach - to get the business of supplementing out of the way at the beginning of the feed, leaving the remainder of the feeding session to be calmer, the breast to become a happy place and the mother and baby can enjoy the "milk drunk" result of falling asleep at the breast with a full tummy. It allows a controlled approach to gradually reducing the volume of formula, allowing stimulation at the the breast to increase production.

• You don't have to use bottles and teats: Dr Jack newman advocates an alternate method of topping up, where the formula is delivered during the breastfeed, not before or after. Supplementary Nursing Systems (SNS) have been around for decades, yet are still overlooked by mothers and health professionals alike. Old Midwives Tales are spread, claiming they are fiddly to use, take too long or rejected by babies - based not on personal or professional experience, but passed on as lore by those who may never have even seen one used!!! Dr Jack Newman discusses their use here and you can see a video of them in use here and read more about them here.

• Improve milk removal from the breast: Both babies and mothers can remove milk from the breast and it is the effective and frequent removal which establishes and maintains supply from the first feed to weaning. Breast milk supply is flexible, like a rubber band: if it drops for any reason, you can reverse that and take it back to where it was before - or higher! If adoptive mothers can establish breastfeeding and weaned mothers can reverse that process, then modifying milk supply when you are breastfeeding is relatively simple!!!

• Fix the most likely cause - the baby!: Despite what mothers tend to believe, most breastfeeding problems are baby-related. A mother's supply relies on feedback from her baby and if that baby is not feeding correctly, that feedback loop sends the wrong data back to the breast. If your baby is only removing 50% of the milk, then the breast gets the message to halve production. Do what you need to find the skilled and knowledgeable help your baby needs - if the doctor, midwife or lactation consultant don't seem to be focused on how the baby feeds: find one who does. Steer clear of any who say things like "You just don't make enough milk - some women can't, you know" and run from any who say "I couldn't breastfeed my babies and they are okay!" Make sure your lactation consultant is in fact, a board-certified IBCLC. Ask when she sat the exam last and look for positive reviews or recommendations before making your appointment. Your family doctor may not have more than a basic knowledge of lactation, picked up in medical school back in the day. Before taking their advice onboard, ask what seminars, conferences, journals or lactation resources for professionals they have accessed in the past year. If they dismiss concerns over issues like tongue ties (particularly the less obvious posterior tongue tie and upper lip tie) or suggest restricted feeding times/frequency, don't ask to assess a breastfeed or fail to examine your breasts if you present with issues like damaged nipples, mastitis, thrush or white spot - these can indicate a poor knowledge of breastfeeding problems. Ideally, your GP will offer you details of an IBCLC or breastfeeding counsellor and/or support group - if they don't, ask for them and if they cannot provide them, again be wary of their knowledge base.

• Improve the back-up system: If your baby is not effectively removing milk from the breast, you will need to help. Expressing by hand or breast pump is the second-best way to get milk out of the breast - but you can make it very effective by using the right techniques and equipment. If you are expressing to establish or increase your milk supply, get the very best pump you can. Hospital-grade pumps like the Medela Symphony or Ameda Platinum, with a double milk collection kit, are vastly better in these circumstances than personal use pumps intended to maintain your existing production when you cannot be with your baby. Maximizing Milk Production with Hands On Pumping is my number one recommendation for anyone expressing milk by pump: breast pumps use negative pressure (vaccum) to remove milk. Hand expressing uses positive pressure (squeezing). Babies use both. By combining the two, you can double the volume of milk expressed, therefore giving the breast very different feedback on how much to make. 

• It isn't what you put in, it's what you take out: Before you invest all your money in galactagogues, try investing all your time in milk removal. While some foods and herbs claimed to increase milk supply are probably quite good for you, while others do no harm, prescription medications are expensive and don't have evidence to support they work in all cases of low supply. What we do know is they only work if combined with increased removal of milk from the breasts. So - while you can happily munch away on lactation cookies made by your best friend or sip the breastfeeding tea your mother bought, they will work even better if you do so with a double pump tucked into your bra at the same time! If your health professional reaches first for their prescription pad without working out IF your supply is actually low, WHY is is low and working out a plan to increase it by more effective milk removal ... perhaps seek a second opinion.

• Finally, learn what is normal for a breastfed baby: Human milk is designed for human babies. Cow's milk is designed for cow babies. We don't feed our children cow milk because it is closest to human, we do so because cow's are docile creatures taken into farming early on in human history - and getting a breast pump on a gorilla or chimpanzee several times a day would not be easy!!! I have written previously about Just what is normal, anyway? and Why your baby won't let you put him down. When we understand that human babies should not be sedated in the same way calves are and that natural behaviour for human babies is relatively constant contact with the mother, frequent access to the breast for feeding and sleeping in contact with the mother's body; we can see that our society's "normal" of deep sleep after feeds every few hours, in a static sleep space in a room away from the mother are totally incompatible with breastfeeding! Yes, it is very convenient for these things to happen, when you have other demands of your time; yes, comping with cow's milk formula is likely to achieve deeper sleep (associated with SIDS risk) and less frequent feeds (because cow's milk curds are tougher and harder to digest than those in human milk) BUT we must not use the word NORMAL to describe these out-comes.If these behaviours are used as the benchmark for human infant feeding and sleeping patterns, then EVERY fully breastfed baby is likely to fail to meet them!! In the first three months of an infant's life, you can expect to spend most of the day with your baby at the breast, in your arms or against your body - that is the human normal. Or the Fourth Trimester.

In fact, This is what your average day is most likely to look like  (although hopefully without the crowds watching on!!)

There and back again ... our Tolkien journey

I first became aware of The Lord of the Rings when a dog called Frodo had a short-lived sojourn as my family dog when I was about 10. He ate the washing and went to "The Farm".

I can't recall exactly when I read The Hobbit and then The Lord of the Rings but it would have been around 12 or 13 years old. I loved them but had no idea the prominence they would later go on to have in my life. I would periodically return every few years to revisit them, as one of the closet Tolkien lovers in a world that didn't really know it even existed.

Then, when my eldest daughter was a reluctant and struggling reader aged about 15, she needed to read a book of her own choice for school and I encouraged her to read The Hobbit. That magic led her to not only read The Lord of the Rings but also The Silmarillion (which had defeated me as an avid reader!) and converted her to a compulsive reader and lover of the Fantasy genre.

Not long after, word began to spread that Peter Jackson was making a movie of LOTR - no ... three movies!! And the anticipation and hope began. But what if he ruined it? Around this time, two kittens joined our family and were named Merry and Frodo (Merry being a female cat gained a male character's name, as females in Tolkien's works tend to have names too grand for a domestic cat!).

The first movie was released on Boxing Day 2001 - and we joined to queue for tickets. And it was perfect! Melissa and I released our jointly-held breaths as the vision in our heads was matched by that of Peter Jackson. And love of the movie raanked alongside love of the books.

Kieran was just ten and also struggled with reading. However, when we added the audio CD full BBC production of LOTR to our collection, he patiently listened to the whole  13 hours virtually uninterrupted! He was also immersed in Middle Earth. Kaitlyn and Rod tried to be as enthusiastic but it was we three who shared the passion.

I remember the Christmas we surprised Kieran with the full Fellowship of figures - a friend working for a toy store chain was able to get them with her staff discount. Except for one - Strider - who was stuck on a wharf and not delivered in time. Also on his gift list was a Hobbit cloak of his own, sewn in secret by me in  the cosy space of our ensuite bathroom! This was packaged in a silver box, with a letter from Gandalf advising the Fellowship were in hiding within our lounge room to be found - apart from Strider, who would join them at a later date.

But I wasn't the only one sewing costumes. Melissa took her rudimentary sewing skills and taught herself how to draft patterns and recreate costumes from the movies. And that introduced her to the world of cos-play. And conventions.

Which led to her volunteering at the LOTR exhibition in Sydney, where she even managed to be featured in a newspaper article!

Which led to a family roadtrip  so we could all see the exhibition!

 And then more conventions and meeting with stars of the movies.

 

So, by the time she was celebrating her 21st birthday, Melissa was also preparing to hop over to New Zealand, so she could visit the movie locations! Her birthday yielded so more treasures for her growing collection.

In the end, she spent two years in NZ!

Sadly, the movies came to an end and the family consoled ourselves with Harry Potter instead each Boxing Day. And then, rumours began that Peter Jackson was making The Hobbit! And that turned into a trilogy as well! By now, Kieran was also into cosplay and brother and sister attend conventions together! In 2013, they easily won tickets to see one of the movies accompanied by the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra, in an Instagram competition on ABC radio. 

And now, today we saw the final installment of The Hobbit. And we are left with just our memories, a large cache of merchandise and everything on DVD - except we now wait for the release of this third movie and, no doubt, the boxed set of three! 

Sadly, little Merry didn't quite make it to the end of the journey, going to the east just a couple of weeks ago. Frodo is his annoying self and belies his fifteen years of age. Melissa and Kieran are about to turn 31 and 24. But offer them their swords and cloaks and they will oblige you a little sword play and are sure to indoctrinate Charlie into the fold as soon as possible :)

Thanks to J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson for your legacies.

30th Santa photo!

Continuing our family tradition, we headed to the city for our annual Santa photo yesterday and- after some serious desensitising over the past few weeks - Charlie added her second year to her own tradition. We also got a very special moment between Mummy, Charlie, Santa and his toy reindeer to treasure.

RIP Gwen O'Dowd

It is with sadness I announce the death of my mother-in-law Gwen yesterday,  November 10 2014.

I was 15 when I met my husband,  36 years ago. As a young mother,  Gwen and I spent a lot of time together,  much like Kaitlyn and I do today. She was always happy to care for the children for a few hours or a day and we would do our grocery shopping together for many years. She was always happy to come to the children's special events and hosted our family Christmas every year.

As my family grew up and my life was filled by work and more, and she and Robin enjoyed their retirement years together,  we spent much less time together - despite only living a few streets apart. These past few years her health issues took away some of her joy, but seeing Kaitlyn marry and become a mother gave light to her darker days.

Gwen spent the final hours of life with her family in attendance, right down to 18mo, Charlie.  She passed peacefully as pulmonary oedema took her quietly.

She was my other mother and a wonderful role model and will be greatly missed.

My Liquid Gold presentation

I thought you might like to see my slides from my presentation at Liquid Gold.

Breastfeeding Charlie It Took a Village Liquid Gold 2014 by Yvette Jenkins O'Dowd

Breastfeeding Charlie - it Took a Village: UPDATED

Twelve months after publishing Breastfeeding Charlie - It Took a Village to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week, I am busy preparing to present it at the Australian Breastfeeding Association national conference Liquid Gold. A year ago, Charlie was just five months old and the twist in the story happened not long after I published, so here is the updated version.

Breastfeeding Charlie - It Took a Village: updated by Yvette Jenkins O'Dowd

Yvette on Channel Nine News Melbourne

Sharing :)

People with no kids don't know by Jeff Roy

People with no kids don't know

Michael McIntyre is so right. People without kids think they know, but they don't have a clue.

Charlie's Natural Play Space

Like most adults, my childhood memories of play generally occurred outdoors. With the freedom of children in the 1970s, my friends and our siblings roamed not only our neighbourhood on the outskirts of Melbourne but also the undeveloped land surrounding us, where remnant bushland and retired farmland gave us unlimited connection with nature and unsupervised play opportunities from a young age - the instructions to "look after your brother/sister" and "be home before its dark" rang in our ears as we raced out the door.

My own children, fortunate to grow up in the same neighbourhood as both their parents, found their own nature play spaces, even though many of our own were now sub-divided and out of bounds. Their roaming spaces were smaller and more play occurred in back yards, but their was still plenty of dirt, mud and risk taking going on unseen by parental eyes. Cubby houses, mud pie creations and endless games of imagination went on from dawn to dusk in the summer holidays and on weekends and school days when increasing extracurricular activities permitted.

Another generation is now growing up in that very same neighbourhood! My daughter, her husband and daughter have recently moved in with us for the foreseeable future. Where before, it was a part-time space on the days I cared for her while mum is at work, our back yard is now a full-time play space for my 13 month old granddaughter Charlie. And while we are still blessed with green spaces close at hand, even more areas have been sub-divided for housing and increasing fear of predatory adults means unsupervised play is rare now - and likely to be rarer by the time Charlie is of an age to gain such freedom.

There is concern around the world about children's reduced access to natural place spaces and free play outdoors. Our idyllic local environment - where we can access the beach, bushland and rural spaces within a five minute drive from our front door and have an abundance of community spaces many parts of the world could only dream about - is not to be taken for granted. We need to ensure all children have access to outdoor play.

Our family attend a weekly playgroup Nature Kids, uniquely using local natural spaces as its venues and using the environment to let our children play and learn. Charlie began attending the group before she was 9 months old and is thriving on the experience. This has motivated me to further encourage outdoor play at home by establishing an age-appropriate mini-natural space for her play in our garden.

I knew from the experiences Charlie enjoys at Natured Kids some of the elements I wanted to include in her play space - and Pinterest helped me develop those concepts into practical ideas. Rather than list all the sources of inspiration here, hop over to my Pinterest Board Natural Backyard Play Spaces and have a look.

The obvious requirements were: sand, water, dirt, mud, stones, sound, light and air. And art.

Research 

This space is intended for toddler play, so it needed to be contained, visible and relatively safe. I have many plans and dreams for our backyard, with a focus on making it a children's delight for Charlie, her friends and future siblings and cousins to come. A replacement cubby house (our beloved one is literally falling apart at the seams), realms for fairies, dragons and other folk are gradually evolving from garden beds, space for riding trikes and bikes along our brick-paving and more are on the drawing board. But - for now - an obvious space lent itself to my plan. An area beneath our Flame Tree, where long-term drought and water restrictions, competition for water and nutrients amongst multiple established tress and my limited abilities had rendered a dream garden bed to look like this:

A blank slate after my wonderful backyard blitz in January

Adjacent to the garden beds being planted to attract fairies, butterflies and small girls picking flowers, immediately down from our deck, beside the clothes line and offering both sun and shade year round, this would be the ideal location.

Bricks were lifted and a retaining wall put in place to both level the space and accommodate the sand area. A swing set was bought second-hand, as were a toddler slide, a small playhouse, water-play table and some child-sized chairs. Although this is a natural play-space, some plastic is needed and buying it used reduces the impact on the environment. As she grows, some of these will be replaced or no longer needed and passed on.

Enjoying her new space already - and it isn't yet complete!

Now the hardware was in place, it was time to get dirty! This girl loves to get in and check it all out!

Not one to pass up an opportunity, the bricks were barely lifted and the play began!

All this was being undertaken at a ridiculous time in our lives. Following my husband's unexpected brain surgery, he was unable to drive for three months, which not only impacted on his work life but also meant he was not able to drive his car for family purposes - and his was the only car able to tow a trailer! Added to this, we were in the throes of downsizing our household AND my daughter's and beginning the gradual merging of the two. Throw in Charlie's first birthday, a family wedding on her father's side and a bout of illness knocking our household for six, it was a very frustrating time as I am so reliant on others to do any heavy work!

However, my vision was affirmed as Charlie took delight in playing outside at EVERY opportunity! I began to see my winter huddled under an umbrella, rugged up and pushing the swing endlessly! Her enjoyment pushed me to keep going until the full dream was realised. I drew my vision to share with the family:

I sourced second-hand materials for the project - free rocks, tree stumps from a neighbour when a grand tree was sadly removed and various odds and ends for the music wall. Apart from some blue board and a tin of blackboard paint - plus the timber etc hubby used to build the retaining wall - everything else has had a previous life before this.

And so - finally - I can call it done (well, tomorrow will see a final coat of blackboard paint and a tree stump has an appointment with a chain saw to create the stools).  There will obviously be additions as they come our way and evolution over time. But for now -

All the pieces in their places

So what does the end user think? I'll let you be the judge:

One happy toddler!!!

I hope we have inspired you to give up a little bit of outdoor space for child's play. We live on an average suburban block and this space is maybe the size of a single garage. We have spent a couple of hundred dollars on the retaining wall, sand and blackboard. And converted a disappointing space into one with real purpose.

And finally, as autumn tumbles into winter, a little glimpse into other areas of our garden which make me smile right now.

In Granny's Garden magic happens

Introducing: Southern Natural Parenting Network

The eastern side of Port Phillip Bay in Melbourne - from the bayside suburbs out to the Dandenong Ranges and down through the Mornington Peninsula - is a wonderful place to live and raise families.

As a family that practice many facets of natural-styled parenting - full term breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, baby-led weaning, modern cloth nappies and more - we have noticed that whatever group of mums we join, some familiar faces keep popping up!

In fact - the wide variety of online and face to face groups supporting our style of child raising is almost too great. Connecting with like-minded parents relies on word of mouth and a good deal of time searching Facebook and Google. Too often, individual mums feel isolated and unsupported among more mainstream parenting groups and family circles and unaware of a parallel community where they would feel so much at home.

When a mother I knew reached out to find a new mums group when one wasn't facilitated by her local council and another confessed her group had never really come together for that face to face support we know is important, I offered to hook them both up with other mums in the region looking for the same thing. A few status shares later, with several mums confessing they were in the same boat, I decided to put into action an idea that had been brewing and a new Facebook group was born.

I believe community is essential for mothering and the lack of a traditional village leads to many of the problems we face today. For parents for are swimming upstream against the norm, this rings true even moreso.

Southern Natural Parenting Network is intended to connect women with groups, services and resources which support their parenting choices. From neighbourhood mums groups to larger organisations, its purpose is to make those connections easier.

Raising the adults of the future is a responsibility of the whole of society. This is one way I can do my part.

Southern Natural Parenting Network

Breastfeeding in public: it's LAW!

Really happy to have my photography, daughter and granddaughter as part of this!

Check out The Brave Breastfeeder on Facebook for more great support for mums just trying to do what nature intended.

Velcro Babies: Separation anxiety in the older baby

Around 9 months of age, babies come to an amazing - but alarming - realisation: their mother is not a part of them, she is a separate entity.

This huge leap in awareness is a total surprise. For nine months in the womb and around nine months out, the mother is just like some parts of the body: you can't always see them, but they are there all the time.

Realisation that in fact, the mother could abandon the baby at any moment is a huge shock. And leads to the only reassurance possible: constantly keep the mother in sight. Suddenly, baby is no longer content to lie awake in bed, play on the floor or even be held by other people unless her mother is in close physical and visual contact.

Strap on the velcro - where you go, baby goes too!

Charlie has been in the midst of this development stage for a while now. At ten months, she is working hard on walking and it won't be long until she moves to the next stage of management: following mum everywhere!

Because we knew Kaitlyn would have to return to work at some time in the second half of Charlie's first year, she and I have worked hard to cement a strong attachment between Charlie and I so being in my care without mum would be less distressing. This has worked just as we hoped - to the extent that Charlie applies the same separation anxiety to me moving out of sight as she does with Kaitlyn! Even when Kaitlyn is right there beside her!!

We have learned it is sudden, unannounced movement which particularly triggers the momentary distress and that making eye contact, saying bye bye and waving  allow her to prepare for the separation: even if just walking into the other room to get something. Talking to her from the other room is also helpful and reassuring.

Interestingly, Charlie is quite as ease with Kaitlyn leaving to go to work and sometimes barely interupts what she is doing when she returns! Provided she is either involved in - or unaware of - the moment of separation, being apart is not a problem.

Other developmental changes occur around the same time that are related to this awareness of being out of sight but not gone forever: Peak-a-boo becomes THE game for babies at this stage, so they comfortably see someone disappear and reappear over and over, learning this is normal and reliable. Waving bye bye reinforces people go away and waving hello that they return. And the awareness that something out of sight still exists means looking into bags, boxes and buckets for toys is meaningful - out of sight isn't out of mind.

Babywearing comes into its own during this stage if you wish to do anything without holding a baby who won't leave your side. Taking them with you when you shower, use the toilet, collect the mail, load the washing and all the other quick tasks you could previously leave them playing while you go, now only get done with them in your arms or at your feet.

It is a frustrating stage at times, but necessary for your baby to move into more independence as a toddler. Soon, that separation will be a bonus for your baby, because life becomes a lot more interesting when mum isn't constantly by your side!!

Hubby's Head Update

Apologies to family and friends for not posting since I announced my husband needed surgery!

It has been a crazy almost-week, but today he came home from hospital. The surgery was successful and now all that is needed is rest so he can recover.

He needed this like a hole in the head

To say he has been lucky is an understatement: that initial injury could have killed him if he wasn't wearing a bike helmet. That he managed to go about life relatively normal for TWO MONTHS with his brain slowly bleeding is incredible. That he drove to and from Adelaide in the weeks before needing surgery is frightening!

The staff at The Alfred Hospital in Melbourne, our major trauma centre, are first class and knowing they are there when we need them at times like this is reassuring. Not wanting to ever need them again but if we do - best place to be.

After driving an hour each way to visit every day (except yesterday, when I had a breastfeeding class to teach) we are all looking forward to some rest!