It is her again, the old woman I will be one day, struggling to break through to the surface. I know she is in there, she makes an assault now and then.
I have no issue with aging, in fact I embrace every age I am and look forward to those I have yet to reach. I find people older than I inspiring (I also find those younger than I inspiring - and those my age!) I don't run around trying products that fight the signs of aging - whatever that means - I just look after this 45 year old body with the presumption it is about half-way through its life and needs to stay healthy and strong for the second half.
I have good genes when it comes to aging - my family history contains many octa- and nona-generains. Although my father passed away in 2003 aged 74, his poor health was all due to lifestyle issues (smoking, drinking, poor diet, sedentary life and no medical care!). On the other hand, his older sister enjoyed her 81st birthday last year and is a bundle of energy in mind, body and spirit! And their cousins are alive - one as fit as a Mallee bull, the other Strong in health and body, but struck down by dementia in her late 80s :(. My mother is alive, aged 74 and all her older siblings are too - aged up to the 80s. But my prognosis is good for another 40 odd years or more!
So I don't want to look like a 20yo or even a 30yo: I want to look like a healthy, active 40 something. I might have MS and a few other health issues I cannot control, but I can still do my best to prevent heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other illness caused by poor lifestyle. It is more important what you put on the inside of your body than what you slather on the outside (with the exception of sunscreen!).
My older goddess within can stay inside for a while longer. She can keep sending through her grey hairs and her creases in my skin, the aches and pains in my feet and the other signs our body is changing. On the outside, I still colour my hair, but a lighter colour now, in recognition of the changes she makes. I put water into my body and I seal it in with regular moisturising and I do my best to keep the damaging sun of my face. I might wear more comfortable shoes, but I still paint my toenails outrageous colours!!!
I hope I am aging disgracefully - I try very hard to!